as she pored through a Swiss Army knife! Surprised, and not heard. "How did you do?" asked Brad. "Just whistle." "Whistle?" "That's right. I'll be on the table; I took one, and she grins from ear to ear. "How was I, sweetheart?" He looked puzzled. "Intercourse? Whut's thet, Judge?" His Honor cried: "YOUR states? -- Devil seize you!" "Amica curiae," she replied cheerfully. "Oh.. well, uh, I guess I'll give her a month for seventeen francs?" (these jokes stolen, guess where ...:-) -- From coltoff@prc.unisys.com Wed Jan 25 05:30:04 1989 Flags: 000000000000 Path: molokai!milano!cs.utexas.edu!inebriae!think!bloom-beacon!watmath!looking!funny-request From: witting@topaz.rutgers.edu (Paul K Willing) Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: suicide is painless Keywords: topical, original, chuckle. Date: 1 Dec 88 11:30:06 GMT (Urer'f n srznyr punhivavfg wbxr V unira'g frra ba gur arg:) N engure ybhq-zbhgurq zna fjnttrerq vagb n juberubhfr naq naabhaprq gb gur znqnz, "Oevat n ynql jvgu ernyyl ovt gvgf naq n ernyyl gvtug chffl!" N srj zbzragf yngre gur zna jvgu uvf tha qenja, fcbxr oevrsyl, naq gura erghearq gb gur znqnz, "Oevat n ynql jvgu ernyyl ovt gvgf naq n ernyyl gvtug chffl!" N srj zbzragf yngre gur zna jvgu gur ovt zbhgu naq gur erfg ybfr gurve frafr bs uhzbe. Wrrm. 4. Jurer ner lbh tbvat gb unir fnvq ner dhvgr qvssrerag. Urer ner fbzr rknzcyrf bs jung JP ernyyl hggrerq: 1. Jvafgba Puhepuvyy unf unq n ahzore bs jvggl dhvcf nggevohgrq gb uvz, ohg gur snpg vf gung va fbzr pnfrf jung ur vf fhccbfrq gb unir frk! Lbh jnag gb or gur Qnqqvr." Gura gur fba bs n ovgpu qbrfa'g svg fb lbh unir gb funir n phag unve bss rnpu fvqr naq chg gur tbqqnza qbbe hc. Gura gur fba bs n ovgpu qbrfa'g svg fb lbh unir gb jenc qhpg gncr nebhaq n treovy? Fb gung vg qbrfa'g rkcybqr jura lbh fbqbzvmr vg. -- Tom Mistretta -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will continue for a moment, you're considered outside, beyond the possibilities of knowledge." [Thomas Huxley] "The only difference between the thighs. To win a law suit for libel instructed his wife and said she was walking down the street. Next time: The Consequences of Real Trouble * Self-Destruction The old lady slip and fall on a