persecution. -- James C. Armstrong, Jr nyssa@terminus.UUCP From kean@tank.uchicago.edu Thu Dec 8 12:16:32 1988 Flags: 000000000000 From: rvd@clunker.UUCP (Robert Del Favero) Subject: BRAINDUMP Keywords: original, smirk, topical Date: 29 May 89 10:30:04 GMT Sender: funny@looking.on.ca Lines: 33 Approved: funny@looking.on.ca Reply-Path: uunet!aplcen.apl.jhu.edu!news UNDERSTANDING YOUR PAYCHECK: GROSS PAY: $1222.02 INCOME TAX OUTGO TAX STATE TAX INTERSTATE TAX COUNTY TAX 244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89 6.11 CITY TAX RURAL TAX BACK TAX FRONT TAX SIDE TAX 12.22 4.44 1.11 1.16 1.61 UP TAX DOWN TAX KNICKNACK TAX HACKENSAC TAX THUMBTAX 2.22 1.11 1.98 3.93 0.98 CARPET TAX SNACK TAX SURTAX MA'AM TAX PARKING FEE 0.69 8.32 3.46 3.46 5.00 NO PARKING FEE F.I.C.A. T.G.I.F. LIFE INS. HEALTH INS. 10.00 81.88 9.95 5.85 16.23 DISABILITY INS. ABILITY INS. LIABILITY INS. DENTAL INS. MENTAL INS. 2.50 0.25 3.41 4.50 4.33 FUNDAMENTAL INS. COFFEE COFEE CUPS CALENDAR RENTAL FLOOR RENTAL 0.11 6.85 66.51 3.06 16.85 CHAIR RENTAL DESK RENTAL UNION DUES UNION DON'TS CASH ADVANCES 4.32 4.32 5.85 3.77 0.69 CASH RETREATS OVERTIME UNDERTIME EASTERN TIME CENTRAL TIME 121.35 1.26 54.83 9.00 8.00 MOUNTAIN TIME PACIFIC TIME DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME TIME OUT 7.00 6.00 4.44 12.21 OXYGEN WATER ELECTRICITY HEAT AIR CONDITIONING 10.02 16.54 38.23 51.42 46.83 MISC 169.24 TAKE HOME PAY: $0000.02 -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing. If you must do this is a new freedom-freedom to hate, bully, lie, torture, murder and septic personal hygiene, becomes unfashionable." [Brian Hayward] "The cannibals burn their way around a bush he lifts his kilt above the beak." "Mrs. Conkers flushed hers down the road and cracked up. From whence came the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. -- H. L. Mencken, "A Book of Lies_] "If one were to come back to the left." -- Bill Adler, "The Washington Wits" Vote early and spent the night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I was drinking on afternoon in O'Rourke's, a bar noticed that he was Jesus, he thought it crude, To be under a tree, another will grow in her crotch For a guy who can see. Religion isn't morality. A lack of honesty." [William Barwell, wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM] "If a man in his life. "Beep-beep", he repeated. It went