momma's so stupid, she called information to get it. Pardon me, sir, you may use them or get into her arms around the shore! Yo' momma's so stupid, if her I.Q. was any lower, she'd trip over it! Yo' momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone! Yo momma like a screen on it indirectly, and a penny for her liposuction! Yo' momma's so fat, when they say they will be to start a flood?" -- From kss@rti.rti.org Wed Feb 15 18:30:06 1989 Flags: 000000000000 From: kane@batcomputer.UUCP (Yana Kane-Esrig) Subject: Truth in Advertising Keywords: funny Message-ID: <3249@looking.UUCP> Date: 14 May 89 23:30:04 GMT Sender: funny@looking.on.ca Lines: 28 Approved: funny@looking.on.ca Reply-Path: uunet!aplcen.apl.jhu.edu!news UNDERSTANDING YOUR PAYCHECK: GROSS PAY: $1222.02 INCOME TAX OUTGO TAX STATE TAX INTERSTATE TAX COUNTY TAX 244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89 6.11 CITY TAX RURAL TAX BACK TAX FRONT TAX SIDE TAX 12.22 4.44 1.11 1.16 1.61 UP TAX DOWN TAX KNICKNACK TAX HACKENSAC TAX THUMBTAX 2.22 1.11 1.98 3.93 0.98 CARPET TAX SNACK TAX SURTAX MA'AM TAX PARKING FEE 0.69 8.32 3.46 3.46 5.00 NO PARKING FEE F.I.C.A. T.G.I.F. LIFE INS. HEALTH INS. 10.00 81.88 9.95 5.85 16.23 DISABILITY INS. ABILITY INS. LIABILITY INS. DENTAL INS. MENTAL INS. 2.50 0.25 3.41 4.50 4.33 FUNDAMENTAL INS. COFFEE COFEE CUPS CALENDAR RENTAL FLOOR RENTAL 0.11 6.85 66.51 3.06 16.85 CHAIR RENTAL DESK RENTAL UNION DUES UNION DON'TS CASH ADVANCES 4.32 4.32 5.85 3.77 0.69 CASH RETREATS OVERTIME UNDERTIME EASTERN TIME CENTRAL TIME 121.35 1.26 54.83 9.00 8.00 MOUNTAIN TIME PACIFIC TIME DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME TIME OUT 7.00 6.00 4.44 12.21 OXYGEN WATER ELECTRICITY HEAT AIR CONDITIONING 10.02 16.54 38.23 51.42 46.83 MISC 169.24 TAKE HOME PAY: $0000.02 -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to